So, I officially Graduated yesterday. I put on my funny hat and my black thing and my hood that would not stay on no matter what I did, I walked up onto a stage, shook the hand of a man I didn’t even know existed and he gave me an empty canister. And that was all the pomp and ceremony.
I found the whole thing a bit pointless really. I wasn’texcited like the girl next to me was, she was crazy happy. I was indifferentand then I was bored. But there are a few things that amused me greatly andhere they are:
1) How to not dress in academic dress.
When you pick up your bat-cape and your hat and your hood,they shove the hat on your head to make sure it fits you. They put it on theright way. In a perfect world, the Graduands would take note of this before theyleave the room, but alas, no. Half of the people I graduated with last nighthad their Trenchers on backwards, one guy had even managed, somehow, to put thething on sideways. Then there were the young fashionable things who thought ajaunty angle would somehow look better. It didn’t.
Then there is the never-ending issue of the hoods. They donot stay on. Ever. For anyone. Even the guys with button on which to loop thehood had issues with them falling off. Damn silly things.
2) Names.
Some people just have awesome names, like Pebble. Somepeople just have names that are difficult to pronounce. QUT has figured thisout and provides its Graduands with the option of providing a phonetic versionof their name on their graduation form. UQ on the other hand say “just tell theannouncer how to pronounce your name before he announces you”. This does notreally work. So now, a lot of people will forever remember that on the day theygraduated, the dude said heir name wrong.
3) I know! Why don’t I wear heels for the first time at my graduationwhen I have to walk a long way while being filmed!
Ladies, bad idea. I’m sorry, but you are walking a long way,quite quickly, and unless you have perfected the art of walking quickly in yourshoes you are going to look silly. Not only that, but your instinct will be totry and lift your bat-cape out of the way. It’s not in the way. What you aredoing is lifting up your skirt… on camera… bad…
4) The kids today can’t process to save their lives.
At this point in time I am really glad I attend an AnglicanChurch. I know how to process. It has been drummed into me over and over again.Walk in a straight line, equal stride lengths and for the sake of all that isholy do not change speed all the time. From above the procession ends uplooking like a sick millipede. And last night, we were the sickest ofmillipedes. It was actually really funny. Something I know is supposed to lookall professional and full of grandeur looked like a mess of tired, bored peoplewandering into a hall to a bad recording of a piece of music which we allidentify as being the theme tune from Babe.
That is what provided me with amusement, watching as peoplewere a little bit ill prepared to receive their awards. Watching as everyonestarted clapping every single person who got called and then quickly realisedthat there were 300 people who would be requiring applause. Watching as some ofthe graduates decided to do a little dance as they went up to receive theirempty canister. Watching as everyone got really bored.
Having said all that, I am actually kind of glad I went. Iwill never go to another one (unless I get a doctorate and get to wear one ofthe awesome bonnet hat things) because they are tedious and long and I’m reallynot that sentimentally attached to my education.
And so my 4.5 years of a degree that I don’t really want areat an end. What next? I really have no idea.
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